It's My Turn

The Reality of Adult ADHD by Sherice Brammer (p. 28)

2011-12-01T00:28:00.001-08:00

Check out the link below of New York Urban League Young Professional's latest edition of their digital magazine!

Link:
The Griot Fall Winter 2011

2011-09-13T18:44:00.001-07:00

I asked a first grader what she wants to be when she grows up. She responded, "a teacher, ice cream lady and african dancer."

That put a smile on my face.
Cheers to the future!

In It

2011-06-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

All she has is this vast world and her wishful dreams

Dreams that she breathed life into every day of her youth

She felt the essence of Him, the omniscient lullaby

Every night, even times when she couldn’t help but cry herself to sleep, he moved in her and sang her that sweet silent, reassuring lullaby.

It still is soul moving, constant and committed

For that, she was grateful.

That lullaby was equal and opposite to her song cry of generational angst and longing

Too often she suppressed that release and it dug a deep void in the pit of her being

Too often she attempted to fill it

Fell short of embracing it, experiencing it and pushing through the disappointment

There was never a suitable fix

So a material manifestation of happiness accompanied her in a man that understood all her fears

He was amazing and she was elated that she could finally embrace this new and unmanageable bliss

You’ve said, “I AM”

So, I am here and I send up this wish to you

Please let happiness be real

Please let it visit me in this life and remain soul moving, constant and committed

For that I will be grateful but even more able to freely live my life for you

The pursuit of happiness…

Ain’t it every man’s dream?

Didn’t you put that dream along with my song cry in this being for this reason?

Let me claim it and share it and create through such a manifestation

Naming me possible to procreate in a time of hate, ambivalence and casted eyes

To assure a genetic make able to transition in tune with these new times

Carrying a guise of inherited generational merit to pursue and claim the same hope and happiness I commit to at this very moment

Your lullaby is equal and opposite of my song cry

It is soul moving, constant and committed

But so is my yearning and longing

So is my practice to breathe life into those dreams that drift

Yes, they are drifting…. Away from me and entering my next lifetime because sometimes, just sometimes, I am afraid that I believe and, at least, want to ask you for another shot at this phase of this time of this here life of mine.

By Sherice Brammer

Griot Spring/Summer Issue 2011

2011-06-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

I contributed to the New York Urban League Young Professional's latest issue by designing:

In a New York "Stay-cation" State of Mind, 2011 (pages 14 and 15)
Game Changers (pages 20 and 21)
Informational Interviews to Improve Your Job Search (pages 22 and 23)
Rebirth! photo story (page 26)
Emotions, Family and Business (pages 30 and 31)
Spring has Sprung: Get Out and Get Fit! (pages 32 and 33)
http://issuu.com/thegriot/docs/griot_spring_11

Check them out at http://www.nyul.org/nyulyp

"I Get Out"

2011-06-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

Commentary on "social purgatory" by Lauren Hill

Indique Hair Extensions

2011-05-25T03:57:00.000-07:00

As featured in ELLE, Honey, Hype Hair, Upscale magazines and on heads of the ladies of "Love & Hip Hop." etc, etc, etc.

Fab Virgin Hair; Website here.

Universally Themed Notables by Liz

2011-04-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

"I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and then I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been the victim of my own optimism."

"And love is always complicated. But still humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." (Brazilian Felipe)

According to Liz's Guru, "people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. YOU HAVE TO PARTICIPATE RELENTLESSLY IN THE MANIFESTATIONS OF YOUR OWN BLESSINGS. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it... It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but CONTINUING TO PRAY EVEN WHEN YOUR CRISIS HAS PASSED IS LIKE A SEALING PROCESS, HELPING YOUR SOUL HOLD TIGHT TO ITS GOOD ATTAINMENTS."

Excerpts from "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert

2011-03-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

Key Note: Written by R Kelly

A Hush Hush Prelude. A Whisper for the Voiceless.

2011-03-11T15:40:00.001-08:00

She hugged Him as hard as she could. This was more than a mother's touch or warm embrace. As she reached for her son, with uncertainty of their future, Betty sought to put an imprint on his soul that would last them lifetimes over.

Now skin touched. She hoped to keep this embrace frozen in time and embedded in her soul: the perfection and smoothness of his skin, the seducing scent of his wet hair, the time, the place, the season and movement of his chest as they took turns in the breathing that sustained a life she didn't want to let go.

Miss Visionary 2011*

NAACP Image Awards Salutes Diversity

2011-03-06T09:42:00.000-08:00

Tyler Perry stood out friday thanks to the NAACP Image Awards. Recognition of his work, including For Colored Girls, culminated into an awesome night for Perry, who was otherwise overlooked this award season.

For Colored Girls is an adaptation of original author, Ntozake Shange's choreopoem turned 1974 Broadway hit, For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf, based around nine black women in the Harlem area who are overcoming personal crisis.

Perry was honored with the Chairman’s Award which is bestowed in recognition of special achievement and distinguished public service. His series House of Payne and Meet the Browns also won.

TV winners:

* Outstanding Comedy Series: “Tyler Perry's House of Payne”

* Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series: David Mann – “Meet the Browns”

* Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series: Vanessa Williams – “Desperate Housewives”

* Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Ice Cube – “Are We There Yet?”

* Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Sofia Vergara – “Modern Family”

* Outstanding Drama Series: “Grey's Anatomy”

* Outstanding Actor in a Drama Series: LL Cool J – “NCIS: Los Angeles”

* Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series: Regina King – “Southland”

* Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Terrence Howard – “Law & Order: Los Angeles”

* Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: S. Epatha Merkerson – “Law & Order”

* Outstanding TV Movie, Mini-Series or Dramatic Special: “Sins of the Mother”

* Outstanding Actor in a TV Movie, Mini-Series or Dramatic Special: Idris Elba – “Luther”

* Outstanding Actress in a TV Movie, Mini-Series or Dramatic Special: Jill Scott – “Sins of the Mother”

* Outstanding Actor in a Daytime Drama Series: Rodney Saulsberry – “The Bold and the Beautiful”

* Outstanding Actress in a Daytime Drama Series: Tatyana Ali – “The Young and the Restless”

* Outstanding News/Information (Series or Special): “Unsung”

* Outstanding Talk Series: “The View”

* Outstanding Reality Series: “Sunday Best”

* Outstanding Variety (Series or Special): “UNCF An Evening of Stars Tribute to Lionel Richie”

* Outstanding Children's Program: “True Jackson, VP”

* Outstanding Performance in a Youth/Children's Program (Series or Special): Keke Palmer – “True Jackson, VP”

* Outstanding Documentary (Theatrical or Television): “For Love of Liberty: The Story of America's Black Patriots”

* Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series: Aaron McGruder – “The Boondocks”

* Outstanding Writing in a Dramatic Series: Shonda Rhimes – “Private Practice” – (Did You Hear What Happened to Charlotte King?)

* Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series: Kevin Rodney Sullivan – “Modern Family” (Game Changer)

* Outstanding Directing in a Dramatic Series: Millicent Shelton – “Men of a Certain Age” (Go with the Flow)

Film winners:

* Outstanding Motion Picture: “For Colored Girls”

* Outstanding Actor in a Motion Picture: Denzel Washington – “The Book of Eli”

* Outstanding Actress in a Motion Picture: Halle Berry – “Frankie and Alice”

* Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture: Samuel L. Jackson – “Mother and Child”

* Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture: Kimberly Elise – “For Colored Girls”

* Outstanding Independent Motion Picture: “Frankie and Alice”

* Outstanding Foreign Motion Picture: “Biutiful”

* Outstanding Writing in a Motion Picture (Theatrical or Television): Mary King, Anna Waterhouse, Joe Shrapnel, Marko King, Jonathan Watters, Cheryl Edwards – “Frankie and Alice” and Michael Elliot – “Just Wright”

* Outstanding Directing in a Motion Picture (Theatrical or Television): Tyler Perry – “For Colored Girls”

Music winners:

Getty Image

* Outstanding New Artist: Willow Smith

* Outstanding Male Artist: Usher

* Outstanding Female Artist: Mary J. Blige

* Outstanding Duo, Group or Collaboration: John Legend and The Roots

* Outstanding Jazz Album: “From Billie Holiday to Edith Piaf – Live in Marciac” – The Wynton Marsalis Quintet and Richard Galliano

* Outstanding Gospel Album (Traditional or Contemporary): “You Are Not Alone” – Mavis Staples

* Outstanding World Music Album: “VOCAbuLarieS” – Bobby McFerrin

* Outstanding Music Video: “Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)” – Alicia Keys

* Outstanding Song: “Bittersweet” – Fantasia Barrino

* Outstanding Album: “Wake Up!” – John Legend and The Roots

Literature winners:

* Outstanding Literary Work – Fiction: Getting to Happy by Terry McMillan

* Outstanding Literary Work – Non-Fiction: The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander

* Outstanding Literary Work – Debut Author: The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson

* Outstanding Literary Work – Biography/Auto-Biography: You Don't Know Me: Reflections of My Father, Ray Charles by Ray Charles Robinson, Jr.

* Outstanding Literary Work – Instructional: A Boy Should Know How to Tie a Tie: And Other Lessons for Succeeding in Life by Antwone Fisher

* Outstanding Literary Work – Poetry: 100 Best African-American Poems by Nikki Giovanni

* Outstanding Literary Work – Children: My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete, Ryan Elizabeth Peete (Authors), Shane W. Evans (Illustrator)

* Outstanding Literary Work – Youth/Teens: Condoleezza Rice: A Memoir of My Extraordinary, Ordinary Family and Me by Condoleezza Rice

Miss** Visionary 2011

Debt Settlement - Full or Partial?

2011-02-23T06:19:00.000-08:00

Most begin the year trying to revamp, rebuild and improve Self.

We are all too familiar when it comes to credit woes and shady lending practices. Here's a take on the settlement phase of credit card debt.

Within the timeframe of the statute of limitations in your state a debt collector can sue you for an inactive account. During this usual six or seven years you may want to pay attention to correspondence letters in the mail offering a lower settlement.

Your credit has already been affected by a relative 300 points by the time you reach the "settlement phase." Therefore, paying in full or partial decreases your credit score at about the same rate in the short term. The latest activity for the actual account will be updated on your credit report. An improved credit score will result as time passes.

If you are not responsible for incurring the specific credit card debt and it is someone you know versus blatant fraud pay it off. You may also negotiate a "pay for delete" agreement with a collector. This most works if you are not responsible for the account and be careful not to risk indicating responsibility in a conversation with the collector. Here's an example of a request letter Sample Pay for Delete Letter. Use certified mail to keep for your own records. Get the terms of agreement in writing from the collector before paying. You will reap the benefit of an improved credit report and credit score. You are allowed to sue them, granted you have legitimate proof.

Ensure that payment has been received and processed by following up with debt collectors. Request a free credit report as well to verify that it reflects the updated activity.

Keep in mind that future lenders may require that all debt be paid off before considering you for the best rates or at all when it comes to life-altering decisions like securing a mortgage. They will see the difference in payment made versus what was owed in-full once looking beyond your credit score. It is really a deciding factor if that number is large.

Continue your better you this year with financial stability!

Miss** Visionary 2011

T-Mobile Phone Giveaway

2011-02-10T07:57:00.000-08:00

This Friday (Feb11th) and Saturday (Feb 12th) all Smartphones are free once elegible for a 2-yr contract.

Miss** Visionary 2011

Jamaica, You are Definetly Not a Paradise Lost

2011-02-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

I visted, grew up in, longed for and re-visted Jamaica countless times. I've always loved to breath you in literally and retrospectively.

This time was magnificently different. Never knew one could fall in love twice when I'm certain we never ever fell out of love. Our connection reassures me that if I've ever lived before I also laid claims to you in that past life.

Miss** Visionary 2011

A Sweet Assurance. An Indelibly Purpose Driven Life - Dr. Maya Angelou

2011-01-23T10:25:00.000-08:00

Dr. Maya Angelou. If time would only stand still.

The moments in which you brought me to tears, made me laugh and encouraged me to look forward to life will continuously replay in a window of my mind. A mere hour was hardly enough.

Dr. Angelou, you're existence escapes summary and no one title befits you. You are magnificently layered! If time would only stand still and preserve you at this amazing 82...

Oprah Presents Master Class. Tune in Sundays at 10pm on OWN.

http://www.oprah.com/own-master-class/master-class.html

Miss** Visionary 2011

Ms. Sexy Odyssey, 2011

2011-01-08T17:42:00.000-08:00

It is My year of appreciation! A friend of mine titled 2010 her "year of change" and I surely sang in uinson a chant of liberation.

I always had an idea of the direction I wanted to take my life until I became interested in horizons beyond my first corporate job. I always dreamed and had an answer to the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question.
So, life went in stages. The older I got, the more a "five-year" plan, although varying in nature, was always in place. I graduated from college, moved back to my birthplace, got the internship I never made time for that summer and landed a corporate salaried job in my field of study within six months, all at the age of 21.

I recently reflected on these things at the close of 2010, after having escaped the cloud of nay sayers. I'm tempting an old flame again. Actually School is seducing me. Only this time I cannot entertain the same love. School again is stalled because I do not know where that old flame and I can find a light. I'm asking that in this year She introduce me to Mr. Second Wind. I'm now ready to reignite a familiar affair, involving myself with a different tryst.

I am grateful that writing is a talent that I am able to see the fruition of, a talent that fed me, clothed me, housed my mind and provided shelter for me physically. You fulfill and fuel me. In my year of appreciation I still seek to nourish you. However, I shed skin in 2010 and I'm curious again to expound on the limitless possibilities of Ms. Sexy Odyssey, 2011. I believe that in this year you might reignite my green light and spark in me that something in tandem with my next destiny.

This year I am taking it all in. I appreciate where I am and what I accomplished thus far as my own damn motivator. Mind you, I still have my eye on the prize.

Miss** Visionary 2011

Unbreakable. Too Bad Jails Aren't Co-ed

2010-09-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought TI and Tiny were in the clear and living life together like they deserve, they get arrested.

According to TMZ, the ride-or-die couple was arrested after being pulled over in a Mayback around 10:30pm last night. They posted a $10,000 bail and were released by 4am this morning.

However, the multi-platinum selling rapper is still on probation after serving seven months on federal weapons charges.

TI, Tameka newly-wed Harris "Got Your Back" so maybe she'll take the wrap for whatever controlled substance you were both booked for (alledgedly those happy pills). Otherwise, where were her smarts while accompanying you with it IN THE CAR instead of looking out and advising you to "get right" prior to cruising the town?

Please be smarter for the sake of your soon-to-be Joe and Catherine Jackson bunch.

Miss** Visionary 2010

Fantasia, Here & Now

2010-09-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Fantasia,

Fame found you and equated more money to more problems. Hopefully, you can grasp your woman's worth in yourself, for yourself and spread that message to your fans and, foremost, your nine-year-old daughter, Zion.

Fantasia Barrino recently attempted suicide by overdosing on aspirin and sleeping aids. Barrino explained in a television interview, "I just wanted out. I was tired of people doing me wrong..." Barrino further expressed her disappointment in continual bad press and mainstream media's neglect in recognizing postive accomplishments like her receipt of a honorary highschool diploma this year.

The dichotomy in Fantasia's story is that with all the pressure and consequences of fame thus far she continues to make her life an open book.

A few highlights to note:
1). Intro to reality TV - American Idol winner
2). Family dependency and alienation subsequently begins
3). "The Fantasia Barrino Story," a Lifetime movie
4). Leading role in The Color Purple on Broadway (and later shows nationwide)
5). Health woes led to throat surgery and missed Broadway performances
6). House foreclosure and financial mismanagement
7). Reality TV revisted - VH1's "Fantasia For Real"
8). Antwaun Cook , the man whose marriage Fantasia is accused of breaking up
9). Suicide attempt
10). Survival: press and third studio album release, "Back to Me"

Above all this, Ms. Barrino is still filming footage. A day after being released from the hospital in North Carolina, Fantasia was photographed meeting with Cook in front of cameras for "Fantasia For Real."

Given all the personal and professional pressure Barrino fought over the years, it never led to taking her life. She admits that the "alledged affair" with Antwaun Cook somewhat contributed to her depression. She has continually insisted falsehood in it even being an "affair" as she believed he was separated from his wife since the beginning of their pairing up in 2009.

An August 18th statement read: "Antwaun would be remiss not to address the criticism and judgment he has received," Cook's lawyer, Nicole Sodoma said. "He knew Fantasia Barrino but the failure of his marriage can in no way be blamed on anyone except the two people that were a part of the union – Paula and Antwaun."

Should AKeys maybe become Ms. Barrino's role model?

In comparison, Grammy award winning singer Alicia Keys and Grammy award winning producer Swizz Beatz quietly began a realtionship while he was still married to, not-so-famous on again/off again singer, Mashonda.

Compared to Keys, there IS obvious media bias in covering the two entertainers; albiet Barrino being less accomplished and famous but getting way more flack for a less advanced courtship. Beatz had two sons prior to impregnating Keys and was confirmed the father of a baby girl in the UK via DNA testing this summer. Cook had two sons during his marriage.

Keys has silently ignored the whispers, rumored details and outsiders condemning their relationship.
Beatz addressed his failed marriage on radio but Keys has always remained mute concerning her romantic life. For the most part, Keys garners positive press, so this has apparently worked for her admist even persistent gay rumors over the years. Contrarily, Barrino invited skeptics and fans into her personal life and life history repeatedly throughout her career.

Hey Tasia! Keys wed Beatz early August and they are now awaiting the arrivial of their first child (his fourth - so far) this fall. That's all they've confirmed...

Miss** Visionary 2010

Pullin Away

2010-03-04T01:52:00.000-08:00

I've come to accept that sometimes change is forced upon you. At some point it is better to take heed than chase a fleeting fantasy. A fantasy of another person, life situation or dream.

People change and free us. Sometimes it may misdirect personal destiny. Most times it is for a greater good. The effect is permanent. In the art of self discovery one must first come to terms with their current state. Realization and acknowledgement direct the path of individualized self evolution. Such is more rewarding beyond a subconscious stream of results coordinated by the various causes and effects in life.

Consciously become the catalyst for change, maturity and the attainment of wisdom that gives light to another when life sees it fit!

Miss** Visionary 2010

Making Your Money Work This Season

2009-11-30T06:38:00.000-08:00

Here are a few tips to entertain the holiday spirit of giving while staying cash positive.

Work It
1. Use cash on hand, accommodating the monthly budget you should already have set in place.
2. Layaway is making a comeback in a wider variety of stores. Make a list of what you need and where you plan to shop as you consider this option.
3. Walmart and Target are a few stores that match the price of competitors during the holiday season. Amazon is tactfully low-balling its Walmart competitor on some items, even if it is by a couple cents plus free shipping.
4. Cell phone and cable bills. Call customer service and see what new offers can help you maximize monthly savings.
5. Receive a free gift that you can then use as a Christmas present by spending the required amount on perfume or make-up, for example.
6. Compare prices online the same way in which we are use to comparing prices for airline tickets and hotels. Use sites like PriceGrabber.com.

Ditch it
1. Credit card companies are charging "inactivity fees" and bringing back annual fees as well.
2. Bottled water. You can save upwards of $500 a year by boiling and bottling your own water or using an easily installed water-filtration system.
3. Don't be a brand whore. Switch to a generic prescription drug and take a chance on store brands. Target relaunched its store brand UP & UP to accommodate changing consumer habits in the recession.

Notable Mention
1. Checking account fees. Bank of America and a few others have eliminated over draft fees on charges in excess of $10 or less.
2. Compare checking account rates at Bankrate.com if you don't have a free checking account. A lot of banks also offer free checking if you have direct deposit.
3. With websites such as Coupons.com and Savings.com you can double up on coupons you reveive in the mail.
4. Priceprotector.com can be used to to track prices of things you want to buy and will e-mail you if the product is marked down after you buy it.

Save on.

Miss** 2009

A "Good Hair" Story

2009-10-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

My good hair meant no kiddie perms and hours of my childhood neglected for the obligation of sitting in a salon chair. No scabs on my head from burns that occurred from a relaxer that stayed in too long. Yes! No bald spots from the same process done by a hairdresser that didn't know how to apply it in my hair or mishaps at home. I never had to watch for my new growth or try to hide it before my six to eight weeks. No burn marks from a hot comb whose steam I can still feel by my ears, edges and the back of my neck in the kitchen. No more crazy positioning while my mom, aunty, cousin, sister, next door neighbor or grandma try to catch all the naps with that damn hot iron comb. A comb that was heated by the flames of a gas stove for that matter. I was tender headed anyway.

My good hair is naturally black and curly. It becomes bone straight with a great blow drier and curling iron. I've let it grow to touch my backside in the past. I did not have to be forced into what seems to be a lifetime commitment to relaxers. A decision too often made before one really wants to agree or disagree.

I attended predominantly white schools in the suburbs of Connecticut during my elementary education. I can not think back to a time when it bothered me that my hair wasn't blond or bone straight. Probably because I had length to my lox. My mother was a hairdresser and I literally spent a lot of my childhood in her salon. We even went to Queens most weekends to sit in another family member's salon. At my mom's, I did my share of basing scalps in preparation for relaxers. My good hair lead to me maybe wanting one. There was a time when I at least thought about getting, Vigorol, a liquid relaxer on a six month basis. My mom and sisters have similar hair. My mom used Vigorol before. My sisters grew up on the heated isle of Jamaica and relaxed theirs every six months and it helped to combat the frizz created by humidity.

I was okay with my peers calling me coolie at boarding school in Jamaica. As I got older, the American black girls found a way to put their hands in my head even if they didn't know me. Others asked first. Some didn't like me because of it. They would either pet my head like an animal or finger my scalp while admiring my hair or asking me if it was real. I've had girls tell me that my hair wasn't real even if I offered them a feel. Do you remember all the different version ponytails females rocked in the early Y2K? Most used weaves but I was able to create the same effect all natural.

Everyday is not a good hair day. I've grown to appreciate the natural curls that I can rock in the warm humid weather. I get it in during the winter with the layered cut, roller set and doobie wrap. I will first you to a Dominican salon any day. Black stylists can't manage my hair or really straighten it without trying the hot comb. I've experimented with different colors with less breakage and damage that occurs on processed hair.

Hair has always been a conversation piece and it infiltrates one's self esteem and life plans. Some females scout out good hair mates for the sake of their future generations. Hair is an extension of who you are, what fashion statement you want to make, what mood you are in and the legacy you'll pass down to your offspring. I love and appreciate all hair of any length and texture. I admire it and acknowledge that every once in awhile I imagine that I might wake and want to switch with you. But just for that day. I love the struggles we have - it builds character.

Shout out to the West Indians that say they "'cream" (not relax) their hair. Chris Rock didn't touch upon that.

Miss** 2009

Agape

2009-09-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

10

11

12
1, 2, 3 o'clock
no show no call
November
December
January
February
March
Mid-April the phone rings

I still love him

by Jill Scott

~When should we stop living and waiting on another person in our lives? Here's what resulted from the inspiration I took from Ms. Jill's work.

Slight Request

Human nature makes it Okay cause all the days in between our last meeting were void.
Made me numb and turn my self away from taking different avenues.
Away from meeting someone new or just like you to fill this void.
Every thought of my day was filled with sweet memories of you and I.
How you made my sky amazingly blue.
Filled that sky with stars that shown bright.
All in existence for this night to serve as my muse.
Every night after that I looked up only to remember you.
It was my effort to relive another sweet moment.
Cause right then I missed.
Missed you.
The things we used to do.
The things I want to renew with you.
And I can't sleep cause when you visit in my dreams it makes me wish I still had the real you.
So return to me.
So I can neglect this stress for the best in me.
God is love and I'll share that agape love for you with you.
Let's plan for this future and re-invent us.
For with you I can become my entire self baby.

Miss** 2009

MJ Moment of Silence

2009-08-02T17:39:00.000-07:00

This picture, in more than a million words and emotions, sums it up...

Miss** 2009

Beyonce's High Concert Tickets in a Recession

2009-08-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

Just saw a rumor mill post on mediatakeout.com about a supposed flop of Beyonce's Las Vegas concert series. B debuted new costumes and makeup :-) But it was not enough for one female who paid $1,000 for front row seats and complained about supposedly only "two wardrobe changes." While I don't believe in an alleged flop, some things can explain empty seats comped and filled by the Wynn/Encore to its "high limit" gamblers.

I am a Beyonce fan a bit disappointed about paying my $166.43. And the Las Vegas visitors and locals probably tried to play it safe and gambled to ensure somewhat of a return on their money. All logical during this very real recession.

I went to Beyonce's show at the IZOD in NJ July 24th. Everything was great considering I had a close-up with my binoculars. Admittedly, a considerable amount of seats were empty. That amount of money would of gotten me non-binocular needing seats a few years ago though. Anyway, I was much over the price after I dished out the money a little over a month earlier.

In retrospect, I caught myself thinking is this worth it during the actual concert. I tried to pass that feeling off to the fact that my friend to the left wasn't dancing her heart out considering this was like her third or fourth time seeing our B.

The best I can explain it is when you see yourself a fine ass man and you get him in bed but... He doesn't perform? No Beyonce did thing. You fake the orgasm? No, I had my binoculars and I love all her music and this was my first time see her in person. You soup you self up way more than you should and that belittles the experience and then your explosion. lol Well, kinda.

I hate seating charts because I never get the right scope of a venue I've never visited before. So I had no idea that I'd only have a side view the entire time. When she did a bit of the second half of the show in the middle of the floor seating her back or side was still facing my section.

Diddy said it right on the premiere of "Making His Band." Recession concert ticket prices: $45!

Miss** 2009

Is It Just Me?

2009-06-19T21:11:00.000-07:00

I have a friend that has this friend that is in and out of her life depending on if his "other" friends are being bothered with him. So, she seems to be the former bff and now recurring replacement. Time and again she brings the issue to his attention or he admittedly acknowledges and apologizes on his own. However, in the past couple years he just leaves her alone one day and pops back up wit a text months later like no time has lapsed. What's a girl to do?

I have a friend that I'm not totally sure is even a true friend anymore. I'm always the one pushing to resolve issues noted or avoided. But we do talk and I feel like we are getting somewhere. However, I stabbed this friend in the back who sure got be back good. So much baggage so why am I putting forth the most effort to sew the patches onto our withered cloth?

I have another friend that roomed with her childhood friend after college. Homegirl was short on the rent and rentless for months. In addition to racking up this tab, she moved out unbeknownst to her best friend. Roomie caught up wit homegirl at grandma's a whole two hours away. All she said, when comfronted, was there was nothing she could do. I know if homegirl came up with the money then this friend would of forgiven her and excused the "hard times." Why didn't she see this coming? Bestie use to borrow $10s and $20s in school. I guess that wasn't enough to bring out her true character.

It always seems like one doesn't see or admit wrong when two parties are at fault. Is it weakness that makes one care so much? I attribute it to a conscience hard at work. I think the triflin potential is just a little bit evident in most people. A friendship will always be tested. What really matters is what you learn from and do with the circumstances of the outcome.

Miss** 2009

Scenarios

2009-05-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

A lot of things are not good for us. Aren't we supposed to forgive, love and let live when it comes to people tho? It may work for your good or keep u in circles - finishing where you started. Many times it depends on the cirsumstances or the individual. Here are some scenarios from my mental library.

"Boyfriends/Girlfriends" It's bliss for the first 3 months.

You went outside your comfort zone and dated a diff type dude u wouldn't normally. OMGosh your with the first guy that knows exactly what to do before you think it. Your sick of dating and the trial and error that comes along with. You just want to finally work it out.
BUT
He had a baby during the bliss months and somehow forgot to tell you one was even on the way when you first met.
She had a baby that someone else is raising - likely in another state or country. lol joke's on you
Your true love is married but separated. Or, jus plain married and a pro at juggling the two of you.
Or the infamous, it's a first love thing.
Don't even let me hear the word abuse
Friends or the fam come before you
They cheated

"BFFs"
Friends for years but he/she starts feelin his/herself too much and gets "brand new." Should you become friends with the reinvented?
Out with the old, in with the new friends. But... umm.. wait a year later - -What's up?.... Thought we left this phase in highschool.
Tight since childhood but when you get a place together he/she bails - moving out on the low and leaving you to foot the bill.
My man comes first. Just hooked up with the dream girl. Yeah, we broke up and I need you AGAIN. But what about you?
Friends with benefits and the lines are gettin blurred. Sure did ruin a good thang. lol
Caught the bff in bed with yours. wtf

"Co-workers" and "associates"
Who the hell cares? Don't mix the biz with the pleasure or the phony anyway.

Family
The things that fam will do hurt the most. You will always see them and that makes the hurt last even longer. You can't choose them but they're yours till the end. So have your all out brawl(s) but make it work. I can't put myself in your shoes but don't regret the hold ups you had if you loose them.

I may come back to this later

Miss** 2009

Stop Frontin' We Are All the Same

2009-04-15T05:18:00.001-07:00

We all do it.

We front for other people. Pretend the truth has escaped us when we are wrong. We make our understanding foreign to other's mistakes. We deney our "bad" circumstances and situations as a coping mechanism. And most of us are lured by celeb mishaps.

To some extent this is human nature. If you haven't been in another's shoes, you know someone who has. If you begin to live in your truth and own it - that's a force by itself. There is growth in pain. For me, it leads to creativity or use of my better judgement in the future. In retrospect, it gives a broader window of interpretation; hence GROWTH.

This is why I forgive and forgive and forgive. Admitidly, it has gotten me into repeat situations but I too need the same mercy. There's an art in accepting people for who they are and what they've done. Stop pretending for those that can't like you, flaws and all. Refrain from the simple man's tendency to look at others and get jealous instead of taking the opportunity to learn what they're doing right.

Human life is but a moment in the scope of time for God. Why waste it on regret? Denying myself regret is a coping mechanism for me. But seriously, friends are in our lives for a season but never miss the reason. Family remains a source of refuge. Owe no man nothing but love and let go of the hurt, the regret, the understandable mistakes.

Life lessons are valuable but do not let them rule you. A grudge costs you more enegy than it does the person you hold it against.

Love without condition

Talk without intention

Give without reason

Care without expectation

It's Miss** 2009

My word...

2009-03-30T14:27:00.000-07:00

My word of the year......Perception: The quality, state, or capability, of being affected by something external; sensation; sensibility.

Life, ego drive, past, present, future and relationships, ur history. It's all about perception. What do you make of it? Will you change it, make a move because of it or simply indulge in the trickery.Truth is, you own the rights. Decide. Move. Act. Regret. Forget. Love it!

Welcome to my crazy mind. I hope to share insight with you, entertain you with details of life. I want to chroncile and share my perception on any and everything. Let us learn, grow, OWN and gossip - doesn't that come natural?

It's Miss** 2009